Magical Realism, Writing, Fiction, Politics, Haiku, Books

miércoles, noviembre 30, 2011

The Pre-Game Show

Your Bloguero welcomes you to the pre-game show. Let him ask you directly: Was there ever an event, sporting, technological or otherwise, that didn’t deserve some breathless, anticipatory hype? Or that didn’t benefit from some nicely packaged, photogenic slickness? Or that couldn’t be disguised and serve as an infomercial? The answer? No. Of course not. Just as every real job needs a “straw boss,” every real event needs a real pre-game show.

And what, you might inquire, is The Event requiring this anticipation? What exactly is the Event that seems to have summoned this post? Ah, thereby hangs a tale.

Tulum, the book, not the eponymous Mayan city in Mexico, is about to become available for your reading pleasure in both soft cover (retail is $13.95) and as an eBook ($3.99). There is one technical prerequisite that must be met, namely, that your Bloguero receive the first, physical book via the US Postal Service, and that he examine and approve it. Can you believe that a conveyance of such enormous importance to your Bloguero has been entrusted to the somewhat erratic, ever so capricious US Postal Service? Your Bloguero is being charitable with those adjectives. And no, he cannot believe it. But nevermind. The parcel is expected to appear in your Bloguero’s post office box soon. When, you ask, is soon? Tomorrow? The next day? The day after? Manana? Next week? Well, yes. Soon. Soon is subjective. And then, assuming, as your Bloguero truly believes it will be, that all is utterly wonderful and perfect, your Bloguero only has to hit the "send" button and voila! Presto chango! Tulum will be available to you, dear reader.

That availability will at first be at a secret location, which your Bloguero will disclose here once the Postal Service has completed its appointed rounds. And at first it will be only in soft cover format. But soon after that, the book will become ubiquitous. And it will be available as an eBook. And it will be slathered across the world as if it were cream cheese and the Internet were a nicely toasted bagel. It will make a sustained appearance, hopefully in the windows, of discerning, independent bookstores (you know who this refers to, don’t you? But your Bloguero digresses).

And once the book is available everywhere, the Event will begin. And that Event will be nothing less than the Festival of Literary Capitalism, in which your Bloguero attempts to sell as many copies of Tulum as he can. Your Bloguero shudders. He is reluctant. He has difficulty getting the words “Capitalism” and “Literature” into the same paragraph, let alone the same sentence. Your Bloguero aspires to deserve to be recognized “a writer,” not as “a salesperson.” Or as a huckster. Or as one who relentlessly toots his own schnozz. But, as he said before, nevermind.

Your Bloguero wants as many people as possible to read and enjoy Tulum. And so it is with some trepidation that your Bloguero will shortly put his big toe in to test the murky waters of Literary Capitalism. And that big toe will be the first part of the Event and of your Bloguero's anatomy to get involved. Your Bloguero truly hopes that the Event does not destroy him. Or this blog. Or anything else that is fragile. Or can be saved. And he hopes, indeed dreams that the book will end up selling thousands and thousands of copies. And most of all, that it will be enjoyed by all who read it. That selling it will reward its readers.

So, like all other pre-game shows, this post’s sole purpose is to promote the upcoming Event. The Event is coming soon to a computer or bookstore near you.

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