Magical Realism, Writing, Fiction, Politics, Haiku, Books

lunes, mayo 28, 2012

Enough With The Cats! Please!

I've had it. Maybe it's because it's going to be beastly hot here in 12037 today:

Partly cloudy with a chance of a thunderstorm and a chance of rain. High of 90F with a heat index of 104F. Winds from the SW at 5 to 10 mph. Chance of rain 30%.

Maybe it's because the hoped for thunder showers didn't arrive last night so the just planted seedlings and the just weeded garden may have to be wateredd by hand. Maybe it's because I'm sore from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet from two days of weeding and planting and digging in the sun. Or maybe it's just because I'm fed up. Hasta la madre!

I have no idea how it happened. The Internet's fixation with cats, which runs second only to its obsession with creating and disseminating porn, has created a tsunami of felines doing feline things on video. How cute. How wonderful. How like my very own cat. How predictable. This comes replete with stupid (cute, funny) captions and ridiculously cheerful, synthetic music. How awful. How revolting. This cat genre has gone entirely too far. Enough already. Basta ya! Just stop it, please.

Let's quit all of this anthropomorphic "cuteness." All of this "cheerfulness." It's killing us all. It's making our brains look like Swiss cheese. It's making us look like utter morons to people from other galaxies who are watching us. Have we no self respect? Enough Lolcats, enough ceiling cat, enough I can haz cheeseburger, and this latest from Maru. Maru 4? Enough. Please stop. Please.

Get away from the screen. Go for a walk. Take videos of dogs and horses if you have to wean yourself from this addiction. Let this be the last video of cats. The last one ever:

Did you watch the video? Did you hear that sound track? Did you see how clean that house was? How shiny the floors? OMG. Rescue us all from this. Surely life has more meaning that this.

Can we please stop now before it gets even worse? I shudder at the possibilities.

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