The First Dog

My Nominee For "First Dog"

Permit me to expand on this commentary from the Times:

So, Barack Obama has almost decided what kind of puppy he's getting. Aaah, cute. He's whittled his choices down to either a Portuguese waterhound or a labradoodle - both, funnily enough, dead ringers for the Queen guitarist Brian May - and soon we'll be treated to a photocall on the White House lawn as he ruffles its head in a gesture that says: “Look, I'm just a regular guy like you, except that I have 12 bodyguards here who can kill with their bare hands and you've got notebooks.”

The only problem now is this: he won't have any time left to run the US. I do not exaggerate. When Obama said choosing the dog “has been tougher than finding a Commerce Secretary” he clearly had no idea that getting a dog is the easy bit. It's actually looking after it that makes having a real baby seem only fractionally more difficult than a Daily Star crossword.

It's with this in mind that I have to recommend to Barack Obama a proletarian, low maintenance, rescued dog. My nominee is above. Playful, friendly, loyal, nice to children, and smart, Luna Long Legs deserves to be first dog. In her short 16 months of life, she has already survived numerous, false accusations, calumny, and slander. She has been threatened with poisoning, beating and even death. She has survived all of this with equanimity and style. She remains cute. She loves to cuddle. And best of all, she remembers who her true friends are.

You think some Labradoodle or Portugese waterhound has these qualities? You have to be kidding.