Good Bye B of A, Don't Let The Door...

I'm furious. And this isn't the first time I've erupted over BofA and their abysmal level of what they have the temerity to call "customer care." So I'm fulminating. And I'm asking you, dear reader, to pull any money you have from BofA and put it somewhere else.

The short: yesterday at around noon I put some money in my daughter's account with a deposit slip. She lives in another city. The idea was that I would put in a personal check, she would have access to the money quickly. Wrong. Nothing is that easy with B of A.

After the deposit, the money just didn't show up on line in her account. She called. Where was it? It was pending. No it wasn't. Yes it was. Today, still no money. She called again: it was pending. No it wasn't. Yes it was. No it wasn't. I had to have my assistant go to the bank with the deposit receipt (luckily I didn't throw it away or lose it) and show it to them. They told her they would fix it.

Did they fix it? No, they did not.

Late this afternoon the bank called me. Did my daughter have the money? No she didn't. Sir, she will have the money tomorrow. And they have some crazy, convoluted story about couriers not arriving and checks being someplace else and not being recorded and not entered in the system and what can be done and what cannot be done and yadda yadda yadda.

I'm not accepting this double talk bs kind of "customer service." I'm not thankful for their call or their bogus explanation as to why the money is not where it's supposed to be. After all, it's my money, right? I want it to be in my daughter's account. Simple, right? Evidently not. Evidently it doesn't have to work that way, and you, dear customer, don't get a real explanation or an apology. More important, you don't get the money. No, you sucker, you moron. You don't get squat. At the very most you get, it'll be in there tomorrow. Oh. Well where is it now? Well, sir, I can get half of it in here today, but you have to come in and sign some papers? No. I've already spent too damn much time on your screw up. I want the money in the account and I want it now. No, sir, we can't do that.

What? I have a receipt for my deposit. I deposited a check. We agree about the amount. It says it on my receipt. I want the moolah, the amount I deposited put in her account. And I want it now. And no, I don't want to hear the "explanations" of how a very large corporation (masquerading as a small dog) ate your grotesquely inadequate bookkeeping (camouflaged as your utterly insufficient homework).

Sir, the best we can do, is make sure it is in her account in the morning. The dough better be there in the morning. If it's not, I will have to spend even more time with "customer service" making sure that my money is where it's supposed to be. I do not look forward to this.

So this evening, I emailed all my three grown up kids, all of whom have accounts in BofA, and I said (short version): Get your money out of that f*cking bank. Open a new checking account somewhere. Yeah, I know it was efficient to have branches all over the known world, but we have to work around this. I cannot tolerate this level of bogus "customer service." And I want your sister to have the money I deposited in her account.

It's simple. B of A doesn't deserve to hold any of my family's money. I pulled my money out three years ago. My kids need to do the same. And BofA? They deserve to watch us bank with somebody else.

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